That day will come at last!

That day will come, and you know that from the bottom of the heart. It is just a matter of time. Anyway, embrace tomorrow and say goodbye today.

爱为财死

那些发生的,都是注定的。

美文日赏:

文  李月亮  

  分手时,爱还没完。

  当时他赚了笔不大不小的意外财,和她谋划怎样花掉。他的意见是去西藏旅行,这是他长久以来的愿望。而她想买一件貂皮大衣,那也是她长久的愿望。然后就争论起来,倔强地各自坚持,倔强地要求对方妥协,倔强地等着对方认错悔改,可惜谁都不想悔改,这么等着等着,就散掉了。

  爱为财死。

  后来他用那笔钱独自去了西藏,在那里遇到另一个独行的女孩,相爱,结婚,生了儿子,孩子大些后,一家三口去过很多地方,十分美满和谐。只是他心里始终残留着对她未完的爱,偶想起她,心里总有说不清的遗憾和愧疚,相处的美好,分手的潦草,都成了他心里的结,常会在某个不经意的夜里将他缠住,他会梦到随她去拜见父母,心里有清晰的忐忑和喜悦,也会梦到她坐在床上,怀里抱着咿咿呀呀的小婴孩,是他的儿子。梦醒后,总不胜唏嘘。有次他站在肯尼亚大草原上,忽然想,其实那次不去西藏又有什么关系,人生那么长,总有机会的,为此葬送掉一段活生生的感情,真是不值得。

  其实后来她也遇到了阔绰的男人,相识不久就送上好的貂皮大衣给她,她知足而嫁,婚后丰衣足食,工作也不必做了,专心在家带女儿。也还是会想起他,心里有跟他一样的遗憾和不甘,看到衣柜里多日不穿的貂儿,也会想,这东西真那么重要吗,跟一个人相比?

  他们人生相关的最后一个场景,就是她气急败坏地大吼一声“停车”,然后从他那辆破二手车上跳下来扬长而去。两人的爱情也就在那一刻急刹车,亲密关系戛然而止,从此各自奔赴不同人生。

  谈不上追悔,只是觉得,不该是那样的,就算分手,也该是慢慢停下来,悠长地了断。

  无论如何是过去了。他们十年未见,也未联络。再相逢时,孩子都已经会吵架了。

  那一天他和她面对面坐着,心里有说不出的疏离和亲近。她女儿粉嫩粉嫩地端坐她身边,像个骄傲又漂亮的小公主,她让女儿把零食分给他儿子,女儿不干,说他太脏了,你看他手多黑。——他们刚出去玩了一个月,小孩不经晒,给大太阳烤成了非洲小孩。他也一样,又黑又瘦,皮肤也比十年前糙了许多,和她记忆里的样子出入很大。她有些失望。聊了一会知道,他还开着一辆低档车,也没买房,赚点钱都花在旅行上了,积蓄居然只有四位数。她谈豪车谈红酒谈高档会所,他一无所知。

  而他的失望不比她小。

  这些年她没工作也没读书,生活的全部就是老公孩子商场美容院,如今虽然披金戴银雍容华贵,见识却比当年更浅,他兴致勃勃谈非洲酋长国的奇风异俗,她却惊异于他带着这么小的孩子奔波路上荒废时间,他说儿子跟非洲小孩玩得很欢,她说有什么用?有那份钱和时间不如请个家教学钢琴。他儿子在餐厅里乱跑,跟服务员玩闹,她找到证据,说,看都给你带野了,这样以后怎么能踏踏实实学习呢?

  走的时候,她开她的豪车送了他们一程,到了他租住的平常小区楼下,她心里暗自庆幸,幸亏当初没嫁这个人。

  他带儿子下了车,看她急急忙忙带女儿赶去上芭蕾班,也长长舒了口气。

  就此别过。就此放下。就此心中再无挂碍。

  原来当初分手并非偶然,关于那一笔钱的用途,他们确实有不可调和的矛盾,关于后面人生里的所有钱,也一样。他理智地设想,若当初和她结了婚,她一定会因为他赚钱少又喜欢到处跑而吵闹,而他也断然不会容忍她想把商场搬回家的渴望。要真有了孩子,到底是养成他儿子这样无拘无束的野孩子,还是她女儿那样流连各种培训班的乖乖女?这还真是个问题。八成会很分裂。他想到这,不禁苦笑。

  对一桩婚姻来说,感情是头等大事,而金钱观应该可以并列第一名。没钱也许还不要紧,最致命的是有了钱该怎么花,如果对于把钱花在哪里这件事存在太大分歧,那么感情每天都遭受重创,用不了多久就得咽气。就好像两土匪,合伙出去打劫时可以情比金坚,万一成功后分赃不均,一定马上就横刀相向了。

  有钱人因为感情不合分手,不可惜。有情人因为金钱观不合而分手,一样不可惜。

——————————————————————————

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每个人心里一头野兽

“我心里那小小的兽,一直轻轻沉睡着,它醒来吼叫时,请你,请你不要笑话我。”

美文日赏:

文  雪小禅

  她跑来哭诉说,他从前不是这样的,他对我百般忍受,叫他上东哪敢上西,怎么结婚半年,他就变得如此面目全非?臭袜子扔得到处都是,随处扔垃圾,碗要催了又催才洗,胡子要很长了才刮,从前,从前他不是这样的呀……

  我只有窃笑,恋人到了婚姻,那是从量变到质变。恋爱期间,仍然有演戏的成分,为了吻你,我能吃蒜么?为了讨好你,我要说尽甜言蜜语,可现在,你成了妻,成了我的私人财产,面目露出峥嵘又如何?你以为离婚是想离就离么?

  哪里用哭诉,这正常到不用置疑。

  朋友都是两面。你以为她是这样温良恭俭让,忽然有一次,看到她调笑男人,如风尘女郎,你惊住,以为不是自己认识的温柔女子,其实也许那天她恰巧醉了酒,恰巧想耍酒疯?

  你的男友,一向玉树临同翩翩风度,可是,突然有一天,你看到他衣衫不整,上面扣子只系一粒,裤腰带斜斜歪歪,有半只脚露在外面,他的指间有小泥垢,你如何能忍受?虽然第二日,他又变得这样神采奕奕,而且是公认的精英白领?

  每个人心里一头野兽,有何诧异?你也曾惊讶于最沉稳贤良的女子忽然杀了人,而那人是如此暴烈,甚至想起来都要害怕,可是,她居然杀了他,而且,肢解。还有最如烈马一样的女子,整天指着丈夫的鼻子骂,男人如乌龟一样龟缩着,四邻八家全知道,她是母老虎,而他怕她如一只老鼠见猫,可有一日,她忽然肿着脸出来,有同事问及,她说,被他打了。他到底暴怒,可是,她却也忍了,这世界总是这样,一个退了,那么,一个就进?

  这心里的野兽,大多时候是睡狮,一直沉沉睡着,每个人都一样。只有外面因素不断引诱,才会让狮子醒来。如同爱情,没有那一时那一刻的心动,怎么会发了疯,站在她楼下,不停地发短信说,下楼,下楼吧,我爱你,爱疯了你,没有你,我怎么可以活得下去?

  其实是可以活得下去的。但那一刻,有了兽性,觉得活不下去了,死就死,怕什么?

  爱到荼靡,烟消云散,想起来,自己都觉得可笑,我曾经那样疯过么?

  还笑自己,怎么老喝醉了给他唱歌,唱得跑了调,人都唱跑了,可还深情地唱着——怕黑的女人家里灯火依然,怕黑的时候总想见你一面……有时候深情款款真的只是一个人的事情,你深情时,他薄情,他深情时,你正麻木,这世界上正好的事情简直太少,如同人性的两面,恶的一面总被压迫着,但一旦释放,就是晴天霹雳。

  所以,心里那小小的兽,就让它安稳地睡着,如果那天不小心醒了,就也耍一回吧。

  谁也别笑话谁,你没有失态过?你没有丢过丑?走麦城的事情谁也不愿意提及,可是,走麦城的时候陪着你的人,一定是最真心的人。

  我心里那小小的兽,一直轻轻沉睡着,它醒来吼叫时,请你,请你不要笑话我。

——————————————————————————

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谢谢你离开我

人的一生,要经历多少次离别,才能习惯身边的人来来去去,才能明白没有永远的相聚,也才能看淡世事变迁?

  所有带着爱或者恨的离别,也是一次次痛苦的割裂。若做不到微笑道别、鞠躬离场,那么,是不是可以默然转身,憋住眼泪、鞠躬离场?谁叫你当初爱上了呢?总有一天,你会对着过去的伤痛微笑。你会感谢离开你的那个人,他配不上你的爱、你的好、你的痴心。他终究不是你命定的那个人。

 

美文日赏:

文  张小娴

  曾这样想过:当我老了,身体衰败,我会带着所有的积蓄,与心爱的人住进瑞士湖边一座美丽的温泉疗养院,每天做些舒服的治疗和按摩,泡澡,洗温泉,吃些美味的料理。夏末的早晨在林中散步,飘雪的漫长夜晚坐到温暖的炉火边,静静地望着窗外的雪花。在人生最后的一抹黄昏,看尽湖光山色、迟暮与晚霞。

  所有曾经痛彻心扉的离别,也痛不过人生最后的一场离别。到了这一天,从前的那些离别又算什么?有些离开,是为了使我们更好地走到生命的终点。

  人的一生,要经历多少次离别,才能习惯身边的人来来去去,才能明白没有永远的相聚,也才能看淡世事变迁?

  所有带着爱或者恨的离别,也是一次次痛苦的割裂。若做不到微笑道别、鞠躬离场,那么,是不是可以默然转身,憋住眼泪、鞠躬离场?谁叫你当初爱上了呢?总有一天,你会对着过去的伤痛微笑。你会感谢离开你的那个人,他配不上你的爱、你的好、你的痴心。他终究不是你命定的那个人。

  这辈子,能够相守固然是好,无法相守,只是因为不适合。有些你爱过的人的确只是生命的过客,他在你生命里出现,是为使你学会珍惜和付出,使你终于知道这一生你想要的是什么。当时的坠落,换来的是日后的提升。

  所有到不了头的恋爱终究是一种历练。那一刻,你的心碎了,溃不成军,却只能爬起来,擦干眼泪往前走。是有这么一个人,或者几个,爱得死去活来,只因为是他首先离开,是他首先告诉你,他不爱你了,而你却没有机会回头对他说这句话。既然这样,就当自己吃亏好了。

  我们接受生命里的许多东西,甚至所有,终归会消逝,离开不也是一种消逝吗?损毁的会重建,新的会取代旧的,笑声会取代眼泪……直到有一天,这一切骤然终结,没有笑声,也再没有眼泪。

  当你比现在老些,或是已经很老了,想起那个曾经离开你的人,想起那张在记忆里早已模糊了的脸,你会感谢他的离去,是他的离去给你腾出了幸福的空间。

——————————————————————————

继续阅读:点点主站 有声电台 随机文章 美文日赏在微博 豆瓣小站

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Blessings

Not to associate with fools.

To associate with the wise.

To pay respects where they are due.

This is the highest blessing.

To reside in a suitable location.

To have previously done meritorious deeds.

To have set oneself on the right path (to emancipation).

This is the highest blessing.

To have much learning.

To be skilled and knowledgeable.

To be restrained by a moral code.

To have beautiful speech.

This is the highest blessing.

To support one’s parents.

To cherish wife and children.

To earn one’s livelihood without

difficulty.

This is the highest blessing.

To be generous.

To live in accord with the Dhamma.

To assist one’s relatives.

To do blameless actions.

This is the highest blessing.

To cease and abstain from evil.

To refrain from intoxicants.

Not to be heedless of the Dhamma.

This is the highest blessing.

To be respectful. To be humble.

To be content. To have gratitude.

To hear the Dhamma at the right time.

This is the highest blessing.

To have patience.

To be easy to admonish.

Associating with monks.

To discuss the Dhamma at a suitable time.

This is the highest blessing.

To practice austerities.

To lead the Holy Life.

Seeing the Noble Truths.

The realization of Nibbana.

This is the highest blessing.

A mind unshaken by contact with the world.

Sorrowlessness, stainlessness and secure.

This is the highest blessing.

Having accomplished this

one is always unconquered,

one goes everywhere in peace.

These are the supreme blessings.

Mangala Sutta, Sutta Nipata 2.4

Introduction

  • Introduction

It is not easy for people visiting Thailand to make

sense of the Buddhist traditions that they encounter here.

Few tour guides seem able to explain the principles of

Buddhism with any great clarity, and Thai Buddhist friends

tend to be similarly vague. This book is intended to provide

an introduction to the teachings of the Buddha which will

shed some light on a subject that, to non-Buddhists, can

appear both unexpectedly rational and exotically strange.

This is not a text book. It is intended to be as concise

as possible, and deals in one paragraph with certain topics

that are dealt with elsewhere in books hundreds of pages

long. Obviously, a great deal has been omitted. Readers

interested in finding out more on particular points are

referred to the list of resources found at the end of the

book.

Many forms of Buddhism have evolved over the past

2,600 years. This book deals only with the teachings of the

Theravada tradition, and specifically the form of Theravada

found in Thailand (which differs in certain minor details

from its expression in other ‘Theravadan’ countries such

as Sri Lanka or Burma). The book is also written from the

perspective of one particular monk living within the Thai

Theravāda tradition. I was born in England but have been

living in the forest monasteries and hermitages of northeast

Thailand since 1978. Inevitably, my background and

training have influenced the interpretations found here. I

have been fortunate enough to study with some truly wise

masters and this presentation of the Dhamma owes much

to them, in particular to two of the greatest monks of the

modern era, Venerable Ajahn Chah and Phra Brahmagunabhorn (P. A. Payutto).

I would like to express my deep

gratitude to both of them.

Janamara Hermitage

March 2013

Contents

Contents

  • The Buddha

1. Who was the Buddha? 20
2. What is enlightenment? 21
3. What does “Buddha” mean? 22
4. Was the Buddha a human being? 23
5. What proof is there that the Buddha existed? 26
6. Did the Buddha possess psychic powers? 28
7. How many Buddhas are there? 29
8. What was the nature of the Buddha’s relationship to his family? 32
9. Did the Buddha have a sense of humor? 34

  • The Dhamma

10. What does “Dhamma” mean? 39

11. What are the Four Noble Truths? 40

12. Please explain the Eightfold Path in more detail 42

13. What does taking refuge mean? 45

14. Why are the Buddhist teachings oftn referred to as the Middle Way? 46

15. What does Buddhism teach about the nature of happiness? 47

16. Why do so few people seem truly happy? 50

17. Buddhists talk a lot about being in the present moment.

Doesn’t that conflct with learning from past experiences and

planning for the future? 51

18. What is merit? 52

19. It is sometimes said that Buddhism is a science. What does that mean? 54

20. Is Buddhism a pessimistic religion? 56

21. But isn’t Buddhism all about suffring? 60
22. Is it correct that Buddhism teaches us to give up all desires? 61
23. What does it mean to “let go”? 62
24. How does one become a Buddhist? 64
25. What are defiements? 66
26. Is Buddhism a religion or a philosophy? 67
27. Are there any Buddhist scriptures? 70
28. What is the essence of Buddhism? 72
29. What is the ultimate goal of Dhamma practice? 72
30. Do Buddhists believe in God? 73
31. How much confience can be placed in the authenticity of the Buddhist texts, given
that for the fist few hundred years aftr the Buddha’s death they were transmitted orally? 74
32. Is Buddhism too focused on the individual and lacking in its social dimension? 76
33. How long does it take to get enlightened? 80
34. What, in a nutshell, is the law of kamma? 81
35. Is everything that happens in our life meant to be, or is there such a thing as free will? 82
36. Please illustrate the workings of the law of kamma 83
37. What does Buddhism say about rebirth? 84
38. How important is it for Buddhists to believe in rebirth? 86
39. What does Buddhism teach about heaven and hell? 87
40. Do Buddhists believe in spirits? 90
41. Why is impermanence given so much importance in Buddhism? 91
42. What is the meaning of not-self? 92
43. If there is no self, then what is reborn? 94
44. If there is no self, how can anybody be considered responsible for their actions? 95

  • Sangha

45. What does “Sangha” mean? 100
46. Why do Buddhist monastics shave their heads? 101
47. Why do monks wear robes of diffrent colors? 102
48. What is the Vinaya? 103
49. Is it not unnatural for monastics to be celibate? 106
50. What is the purpose of monastic celibacy? 107
51. What is the purpose of almsround? 108
52. Why did the Buddha allow monks to eat meat? 112
53. Is it necessary to join the monastic order to realize enlightenment? 114
54. What does “tudong” mean? What is a “tudong monk”? 115
55. Do monastics take lifetime vows? 116
56. What do monks do every day? 120
57. As monks lead such secluded lives, how qualifid are they to
give advice to lay people on their family and work problems? 121
58. Can women become monastics? 122
59. Has there ever been a Bhikkhunī order in Thiland? 123
60. Isn’t it better to work to make society a better place than to leave
it in order to become a monk or nun? 124
61. Why do monks in Thiland receive offrings from women on a
piece of cloth rather than directly from their hands? 125

  • Buddhist attitudes

62. Why has so much blood been shed in the name of religion?
Has Buddhism contributed to the carnage? 128
63. What is the Buddhist attitude to women? 130
64. What does Buddhism have to say about human sexuality? 132
65. How does Buddhism view love? 136
66. What is the Buddhist attitude to other religions? 137
67. Did the Buddha have any views on economic affirs? 138
68. What was the Buddha’s attitude toward politics? 140
69. What is the Buddhist attitude to entertainments like cinema and sport? 141
70. Can the creation and enjoyment of art be considered a spiritual path? 144
71. Buddhism teaches contentment. But if everyone was content
with their life, how would human progress ever be achieved? 146
72. What does Buddhism teach regarding our relationship with the
environment? 148
73. Is there a Buddhist approach to conflct resolution? 150
74. What is the best way to deal with stress? 152
75. In Buddhism, how important is it to help others? 154
76. What is the Buddhist attitude to vegetarianism? 156

  • Buddhism in Thailand

77. Thre are many schools of Buddhism: what is the kind of
Buddhism practiced in Thiland? 160
78. How did Buddhism arrive in Thiland? 161
79. To a visitor, the way that Thi Buddhists practice their religion
does not always seem to agree with classic Buddhist texts.
Why does such a disparity exist? 162
80. Thi Buddhists seem to bow a lot. Why do Buddhists bow to
Buddha statues? 164
81. Is chanting a kind of prayer? 168
82. What is the value of chanting? 169
83. What do monasteries contribute to society? 170
84. Are Buddhist monks allowed to be involved in politics? 172
85. Is there any diffrence between a temple and a monastery? 173
86. What are the benefis of visiting a monastery? 174
87. Th fie precepts are considered to be the basic moral code for
lay Buddhists. How is it that so few people who consider
themselves Buddhists seem to keep these precepts? 175
88. What is the present state of Thi Buddhism? 178
89. Does Buddhism play a part in the Thi education system? 180
90. What are the main Buddhist holidays? 182
91. Thre appears to be a signifiant amount of crime and corruption
in Thiland. How is this possible in such a thoroughly Buddhist
country? 184
92. This oftn seem to have a great fear of ghosts. Is this a product
of Buddhist teachings? 188
93. What is the purpose of the spirit houses that are found in people’s
gardens? 190

  • The path of practice

Dāna (Giving)
94. Where does the Buddhist path begin? 195
95. What determines the spiritual quality of giving? 196
96. Which is considered more praiseworthy: giving to monasteries
or giving to charitable institutions? 197
Sīla (Morality)
97. Is there a key feature of the Buddhist attitude to morality? 199
98. What are the fie precepts? 200
99. What are the similarities and diffrences between the Buddhist
moral code and those of the other main religious traditions of
the world? 202
100. Are violence or killing ever justifid? 206
101. Are Buddhist countries completely pacifit? 207
102. What is the relationship between keeping precepts and the
practice of meditation? 208
Bhāvanā (Mental cultivation)
103. Why meditate? 211
104. When is the best time to meditate? 213
105. What is the basic method of meditation? 216
106. What is the purpose of walking meditation and how is it practiced? 218
107. What are the chief obstructions to meditation? 220
108. How long should a session of meditation last? 224
109. What is mindfulness? 225
110. How are the hindrances to meditation overcome? 226
111. What is the meaning of samatha and vipassanā? 228
112. Is any one kind of meditation technique considered most effctive? 230
113. What is the key to a successful long-term meditation practice? 231
114. How important is it to have a teacher? 234
115. How useful is it to attend a meditation retreat? 235
116. Is it possible to meditate while listening to music? 236
117. Is it possible to meditate while jogging or swimming? 237
118. Can meditation be dangerous? 238
119. Are there any specifi spiritual goals for lay Buddhists? 239
120. Can meditation be practiced in daily life? 240

  • Buddhist resources

121. Can you recommend any good websites for learning about Buddhism? 246
122. Can you recommend any books for learning about Buddhism? 247
123. Discourses of the Buddha 248
124. General overview 248
125. Meditation 249